Mom’s Special Brownie Recipe

Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.

Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan. Remove teddy bear
from oven and tell Jr., “No, no.”

Add margarine to 2 cups sugar. Take shortening can
away from Jr. and clean cupboards.

Measure 1/3 cup cocoa. Take shortening can away from
Jr. again and bathe cat. Apply antiseptic and bandages
to scratches sustained while removing shortening from
cat’s tail.

Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups
sifted flour. Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and
open all doors and windows for ventilation. Take
telephone away from Billy and assure party on the line
the call was a mistake. Call operator and attempt to
have direct dialed call removed from bill.

Measure 1 tsp. salt, ½ cup nuts and beat all
ingredients well. Let cat out of refrigerator. Pour
mixture into well-greased 9×13-inch pan.

Bake 25 minutes. Rescue cat and take razor away from
Billy. Explain to kids that you have no idea if shaved
cats will sunburn. Throw cat outside while there’s
still time and he’s still able to run away.

FROSTING Mix the following in saucepan: 1 cup sugar,
1 oz unsweetened chocolate, 1/4 cup margarine Take the
darn teddy bear out of the broiler and throw it away
– far away. Answer the door and meekly explain to
nice policeman that you didn’t know Jr. had slipped
out of the house and was heading down the street. Put
Jr. in playpen.

Famous Quotes

Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring
constantly for 2 minutes. Answer door and apologize to
neighbor for Billy having stuck a garden hose in man’s
front door mail slot. Promise to pay for ruined
carpet.

Remove burned brownies from oven. Collapse
and call the baker for delivery.